New Year Updates

WARNING!! This post may be explicit to some.

Hello beautiful humans! I hope everyone is trying to stick to their New Year’s resolutions 😊 Today I’m doing something that’s a bit off course and providing a bit of a New Year’s update.  I decided that while we’ve been covering my journey with anxiety and panic, the fun and sometimes out-of-this-world risks I’ve taken, and how I have gotten to a place where I feel confident with anxiety, I would do a post that’s a bit different which will happen from time to time.  As I’ve said, I still seek the help of a therapist at times, learning and trying new ways to subside anxiety and panic is always beneficial and to be honest, sometimes, I just need to talk to a neutral party.  In this post, I detail one of the things I know I can turn to that helps immensely!!  In the next post we will be back on track, continuing along with my UK journey and with that said, let’s do this.

2023 was a strange one!  While presented with a few challenges, it also brought me more strength, courage, new friends, and new activities.  What I’ve not mentioned in my other posts is that I am a dancer, I’ve been dancing various styles of dance since I was a child and now I do Streetdance, Ballroom, Latin, and I am also a Burlesque performer.  Suffice it to say, there are quite a few opportunities to practice dance of all kinds including socials for partner dancing.  Dancing is always one thing that I can count on to forget about my anxiety for a while because I feel free and more myself than in any situation.  Each style that I practice has its own and different benefits but always makes me feel free and I will always recommend dancing to help rid any feelings of anxiety and panic, even if it’s just in your living room.  Well, this past summer was filled with many opportunities for dancing, and at one of the events I met someone who has ended up becoming a close friend, ally, and one heck of a dance teacher, we’ll call him Yuri.  It was a humid Tuesday evening and I had stepped out to have a cigarette but as I put the smoke to my mouth, I was caught off guard when a blonde, blue-eyed gentleman held a lighter out to light my cigarette for me.  “I guess chivalry isn’t dead!” I said in a semi-sarcastic tone. As we smoked, this stranger decided it was a good time to start bragging about himself and proceeded to tell me that he’s a ballroom dance champion who has been ranked 19^th in the world(I did google him the next morning and I can assure everyone that he was telling the truth) however, at that moment I wasn’t sure what to think about this man only that he intrigued me.  For the rest of the evening it became evident that we had the same smoking schedule and the more we spoke the more I thought to myself; “Why is this dude so cocky?”  Then I spotted him on the dancefloor and knew.

Throughout the summer I continuously ran into Yuri at dance events and I will say I began to recognize his dancing before I recognized his face.  We started letting one another into snip-its of our lives the more we ended up meeting and eventually learned so much about one another a bond was formed.  He gives off this flair for life and is so passionate about his dancing, it was refreshing to be around.  One of the things I quickly learned about him, he LOVES women!  Loves having sex with women, meeting new women, and having adventures with women (He has permitted me to speak of certain things).  I have also been witness to how he charms women as well as even as the summer was coming to an end, we attended different kinds of events together to which I would sometimes snicker at what he would perceive as a pick-up line.  Nevertheless, we always have fun together and I began to learn, in my opinion anyway, that he’s looking for what most of us are conditioned to want….security.  But he perseveres which is something I admire and is also another reason I am proud to call him my friend 😊

When September rolled around he invited me to dance at the studio, reluctant to dance ballroom with him as I was intimidated as fuck, dancing at events along with a few beers even made me nervous, but I gave in and here we are!  While in our lessons we converse about our lives, our various adventures we’ve been on or would like to be on and I will say he is the first person I have ever known that has had 2 wives….at the same time.  Before anyone gets their judgment hats out, this is a no-judgment space and his wives knew about one another and had met one another.  This story fascinated me as I have heard of polygamists but besides the “special members-only clubs” I would frequent, as mentioned in previous posts, I hadn’t met anyone who was legally married to 2 people at the same time.  As weird to some as this may sound, this only made me trust him more and allowed me to be even more open with him.  I thought I had some pretty wild experiences, but he may just beat mine on this note, and just like dancing, I feel free and there is no sense of judgment within our friendship, you can say he is officially part of my “squad” and provides a safe space where we can talk to one another about anything and support one another.

Why?  You ask have I talked about my new friend Yuri in this post?  I can share things with him about my anxiety and panic and his outlook on staying strong and learning from your past experiences, bad or good, can shape who you want to become.  We have taught each other what we perceive to be strengths and support one another without question.  I do have a couple of girlfriends in my “squad” and Yuri is the latest addition 😊

Be kind to yourself xo