WARNING!! This post is sexual in nature and may be explicit to some.
Hello All! I hope everyone is keeping warm. Sorry again for the hiatus, September and October were hectic months then I was out of the country for a bit, already escaping the cold and grey. Today we’re going to continue my Italy journey but it will be more catered toward the adventure that ensued after the program where we travelled to new places in Italy as well as Amsterdam. Off we go!!
Once the program had finished, Sienna, Colton, Jenson, and I decided to travel around Italy and visit various nearby towns and soak up the culture. We decided to head to Verona and booked a cute private room in a small hotel that sat atop a cliff. We arrived in the later hours of the evening and since there wasn’t any public transportation down the cliff and into the town, we were lucky to find a tavern a little ways down the street from the hotel. Once we settled in and got changed, we, of course, quickly strode to the tavern looking for some nice wine, however, as quickly as we strode in we were quickly asked to leave. The four of us had been on the train for the better part of the day and hadn’t quite eaten lunch…or dinner. Suffice it to say, the alcohol hit fast and hard. Nevertheless, we made the best out of the evening and had our own little party in our room. While we were in Verona, we toured what the town had to offer, basked in the architecture, and of course, the shopping, ate good food, and drank fantastic cheap wine. After a few days, we made our way to another nearby town, Vicenza. The town was having a street party one of the evenings and the host family Jenson had been staying with invited us all to come. The family’s company was one of the sponsors for the evening and told us it would be quite the party and we would be able to take part in a few activities. We spent the evening watching various dance troupes, playing games, eating local cuisine, and dancing in the street. We were all very happy we made the trip there, however, as the saying goes; “all good things must come to an end” as the next day would be our last together. Sienna was heading to Venice, Colton was going to see his family in Scotland, and Jenson and I decided we would head to Amsterdam.
Amsterdam is a breathtaking city. I know it’s known for a few …other…. reasons, however, it truly is beautiful. Walking along the canals, day or night is remarkable and adds a magical feeling to the sights. I have been there three times now, in different seasons, and am still so in love with it. We of course visited a few infamous “coffee shops” and tested the merchandise, I mean, you kind of have to, especially on your first visit. The first coffee shop that we stopped into was “The Bulldog” and when we entered and took a seat at a booth by the large floor-to-ceiling window, we were handed a menu, but not a food and drink menu, once specifically for the various strains of marijuana they had for sale. We put an order in for what we wanted along with a coffee and once everything arrived, we rolled and smoked. We sat there for quite some time before we decided to get up and make our way around. Our next stop…The famous Red Light District! We made our way down the alleyways that boasted the windows with women displaying themselves and I will say I was almost in awe. It was definitely unlike any other experience I had had but I was very intrigued by everything going on around me. Of course, so was Jenson. We were curious about the rates some of the women charged and were going to ask, however, 2 gentlemen walking in front of us knocked on one of the doors and we got our answer. This particular woman, who was very beautiful and seductive, was charging 50 Euros for a hand job. Now as I haven’t used such services, I really can’t tell you if that’s a good price or not so I will leave that up to your discretion 😊
The rest of our week in Amsterdam was incredible! A lot of walking and various tours, smoking a lot of pot, ate some of their delicious crepes, and one of the most exciting things about being there this particular time, was Amsterdam had made the finals in the World Cup and the whole city was out celebrating when a match was on. The main area of the downtown core flashed orange colors everywhere and truly knew how to throw a party. I hadn’t seen a city come together like that, in celebration, well, ever. The week, however, felt like it went by in a flash and it was time to go our separate ways. He to Ireland and me back to Canada. I hadn’t felt any anxiety for most of the summer, I hadn’t even really thought about it, but thinking about leaving Jenson and going back home, a bit started to settle in. We weren’t sure when we’d ever see each other again and that, to me, was scary. I wouldn’t say I had feelings for Jenson, but we did form a connection and had quite the chemistry. I had never approached this topic of discussion with him because in reality, we lived on opposite ends of the world and I didn’t see the point. When we both were headed to different schools and at the beginning of the program, we were both sad we wouldn’t be together as often but we knew we would visit on weekends and eventually spend time together traveling after but this, this was different, there wasn’t a plan for us to meet again and it began to give me that anxious feeling. I wasn’t sure what to do about it because I didn’t want to ruin our last night together but he could see that I was sad and expressed that he was as well.
The next morning he was headed to the airport and I was heading to the train station to catch a train to Paris and fly home from there. It was an emotional morning for both of us. We had a small make-out session then entered our respective taxis and parted. The journey back home was difficult for me, my heart was still in Europe, and everything I had just experienced. I knew I had to make a plan and eventually get back there. I will say, and this will be one of my upcoming posts; *that wasn’t the end for me and Jenson nor was it the end for me and Europe* 😊 Jenson and I do have a reunion, and not as long after I arrived back to Canada as I thought. My journey home was quite the long one; Train, plane, bus then car ride, so when I reached my home I was exhausted and still a bit anxious. However, that same night as I was about to eat dinner, I got a phone call….from Jenson. It turned out he was missing me just as much as I was him and as silly as this is going to sound, that kind of eased the anxious feeling I was having. It made me happy that I wasn’t feeling that punch-like feeling in my stomach but it also made me worry as I did not want to depend on someone else’s feelings to rid that feeling. I will say this, I do still sometimes get anxious and worry when I don’t know what someone (my closest friends, husband, or family) is thinking or if I think something is wrong between us and it’s a work in progress. I have learned strategies to try and cope with this because really, worrying about what they are thinking isn’t going to change it. If I think there is an issue between me and one of the people in the above brackets, I try to approach them and talk/work through it if there is anything that needs fixing. But it is hard to get rid of the “mind-reading” in situations like this. I have learned that to “self-disclose” to the person you are thinking has an issue with you, will definitely nip the “mind-reading” in the bud but I am still trying to progress with this issue and learn new ways of dealing with it. I also know that CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) will help with this issue as well, but, like anything else, the best results come with time and perseverance. One of the strategies I like to try is to define the “mind-reading”. I like to make a list of a few reasons why I am assuming someone is angry with me or has an issue with me, from there I look at the list and try to find an actual issue. More often than not, there isn’t one, we just sometimes need to see it in front of us to realize this 😊
Be kind to yourself xo