Hello, beautiful humans! I hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to more of the sunshiny days. Today, I will be giving my annual New Year updates, which will, of course, be on topic with anxiety and possibly some adventure. I know there has been a bit of a hiatus again, it’s been a busy winter, which has been an exciting time, especially in terms of performing burlesque 😊 However, today we will be jumping right back in and discussing how the New Year is going. With that said, let’s get down to business.
Already this year has been exciting, and new things have been arising!! This is not a brag post, I promise. I mention this because quite a few of my endeavours involve being in public; the stage, on camera, etc. and as someone with anxiety, these hobbies have certain questions directed at me, such as; “Won’t a panic attack hit on stage?” or “How do you get up in front of all those people?”. Well, performing and burlesque is my passion and I will do anything to conquer any awkward feelings that may appear to ensure that the show goes on 😊 I will start by saying I have been on stage since the age of 3 and I was in ballet, we would have annual recitals and it would be one of the most exciting times of the year. This definitely helps with any stage fright, but it also helps to reflect on how long I had been performing publicly if I ever feel any anxiety before I hit the stage. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get butterflies or nerves before I go on, because I do, and I think even without having an anxiety disorder, it’s a normal occurrence for some. I will detail my process below of what helps me before I perform. Again, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach; none of what I write about is. However, I hope to provide a few helpful suggestions to try out, as you never know – it might just be the thing you’re looking for.
I mentioned above that I have been performing since I was 3 years old, so I can honestly say I’ve been performing more than I haven’t. There have been different capacities in performing, and sometimes not even on a stage. Nevertheless, it was performing for an audience. Ballet was something that got me started on my dance journey, which led to many years of jazz dance and dance recitals every May until I turned 14 years old, then became a cheerleader for my high school’s football team. This time, it was performing on the sidelines of the football field and required shouting cheers, but it also had us performing a 5-minute half-time show. This not only consisted of dance moves but also some pretty intense stunts. I was the shortest and was on top of the pyramid two years in a row. Maybe it was the fact that I was a teenager and excited, or maybe it was the honour of being chosen two years in a row, that aspect didn’t give me anxiety. As this, just like ballet and jazz, was in a team or rather a squad, it was less nerve-wrecking to go out there in front of everyone. What got my nerves going was getting down from the pyramid. This was performed by me putting my trust into my 3 spotters on the ground to catch me. It wasn’t easy, and the trust wasn’t built overnight, however, we were a team, and it struck me that we all want the show to go smoothly, and if they don’t catch me, well, that would make all of us look bad and ruin the ending of the dance. Who would want that? More importantly, I remembered how hard we practiced this for 3 months before the first game. We practiced day or night and in the outdoors with the summer humidity. We were careful and practiced our butts off and remembering this while performing for everyone took the pressure feeling off my nerves. So my first little piece of advice is practice, practice, practice!!
Performing solo is a bit of a different ballgame but exhilarating all the same. Before I step onto the stage, I do get butterflies, sometimes it makes a flippy floppy feeling in my stomach. What I do to calm this feeling is take a deep breath (I know, sounds cliché), but honestly, a big deep breath can help you gather your thoughts and help you focus. I know I’ve mentioned the deep breathing in numerous posts, but taking a big deep belly breath, even if you want to put one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, like wrapping yourself in a hug and measuring that breath, it will be a game-changer. It helps bring you to the present and remind you why you’re doing this. Remember, you are doing this for you because you love it, you love how you feel on stage, and you love bringing your talents and passion to the audience. It is ok to be nervous; it is an uncomfortable feeling, but it will dissipate and won’t last. Once you hit that stage, you can feel right in your element sharing your passion.
One other thing about a solo performance that I would like to mention: this is your routine! This is your choreo, and yes, it’s possible you may have had help building it from a mentor or teacher, such as myself, but the audience doesn’t know what your steps are. If you’re anxious that you may mess up a move, it is possible that that may happen. As long as you don’t let it show that you have missed that step and that you keep going, no one is the wiser. I have learned this since my days of jazz dance and have remembered it all throughout performing, whether it’s burlesque or Latin dancing performances, just keep moving and don’t stop. We are human beings and therefore are not perfect. Sometimes, shit happens and nerves happen and all of a sudden you just can’t, for the life of you, remember the next move. Fake it! Add a movement or a step that fits with your routine. Maybe it’s some shimmying, maybe it’s a chest circle or some hip action, just keep going. Trust me, the audience will not know that that is not part of your routine. Remembering this will help alleviate some of the stress and nervousness before hitting that stage.
The other type of performance I participate in is Background Acting. Sometimes I play a cop, sometimes a mum of 3, sometimes even the friend of the main actor. These roles have so much variety, and it’s a lot of fun to do. However, this is all in front of a camera that will be broadcast on cable TV and even streaming networks such as Netflix. This also consists of being in front of the camera doing multiple scenes multiple times. There’s nothing quite like it, and it is a lot of fun but can sometimes be nerve-wrecking. If you have a scene on your own right in front of the camera, it can cause that butterfly feeling in your stomach. What I try and do in this type of performance is push through and remember that I am doing this because it brings me joy. This anxious and nervous feeling, as uncomfortable as it may seem, isn’t a threat of something bad happening. For me, it’s the anticipation of hearing the Director or the AD shout “ACTION” and knowing that I need to be in this character and the camera can pick up everything, I start to feel that anticipation in way of nerves but tell myself I am doing this because I want to, because it’s great experience, experience that I want to gain. The more I do, the less nervous I become, and I try my darndest to remember this each time.
I know all the advice or ideas listed above will seem obvious to some, but what I wanted with this blog post is that, if performing, in any capacity, is a dream of yours, don’t hold back! Don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t do it, or if you feel anxious and nervous to just leave, because if this is what you want, you will allow yourself to get through those flippy floppy stomach feelings. These feelings are normal in these situations, but it doesn’t mean you need to give up. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for and can and will push through discomfort to live out your dream. It’s easy to give up, but we’re not doing this for the easy; we’re doing it because it’s what we love. These communities are filled with individuals who have the performance dream, and they are all so supportive of one another and want to help you feel good and safe about what you’re doing. Burlesque is one of the most supportive communities I have been a part of. My mentor is an amazing human and encourages me and helps me so much. My fellow Burly Babes always cheer one another on, and we support one another through performances and classes. All the background actors and some principal actors and AD’s have all been so supportive on set, it just makes you feel so welcome and part of something special. Surrounding yourself with positive people in your communities really helps with nerves and shows how supported you are. So don’t give up 😊It brings me back to what I said in previous posts, as difficult as it can be, you are not your anxiety and you can do this!
Be kind to yourself xo